I have sat down to re-cap this day in words a hundred times. In almost the literal sense. I have sat down to try and understand and comprehend where my head was that day and how I can make sense of it now. The truth is, I still can’t.
April 29, 2017 was a victory, loss and very confusing day all around. It was a day that I was hopeful and wishing that I could just re-live and do so many things differently. But, like everything else that happens in life, there is no opportunity to do that, and that is just fine. However, it is what you do with the experience, moving forward, that makes it a success or a failure.
I still, as I am sifting through my thoughts on trying to write this piece, I am confused on what I should say first.
The morning of the meet didn’t start out as planned. I was holding water and really didn’t feel good. My stomach was in a lot of pain and I was exhausted from not sleeping at all that night. I had prolonged weigh-in’s for as long as I could, hoping that I would digest something and I would be able to get feeling back to normal. That moment never came until after my bench segment.
I knew that my squat was going to be the best part of my day and it was. My attempts were: 236.5#, 253#, and 264#. All white lights me and for a happy girl right? Wrong. After my second attempt, I had a break down and I couldn’t stop crying. I’m not sure what came over me but I just couldn’t hold it together. After my crying fit, I walked up to the bar for my third attempt, and owned it. Maybe I just needed that cry but I guess it helped!
My bench had me feeling good prior to the meet and after my crying episode, I thought I had it in the bag. My first and second attempts of 137.5# and 143# went easy. My third attempt, I knew that I had the possibility of missing it, and I was ok with that. I had never bench 154# in the gym so I knew it was taking a risk. But, I think I would have been more disappointed had I not taken that risk, than if I had. So, all in all, I am glad I attempted it.
Deadlift has been my mental block over the past couple of months. I am not sure where it comes from, or even why, but I continue to battle with it. The past 3 weeks, I have started to dabble into sumo, but that post is for another time. Right now, my focus is to just keep my deadlift number the same and maybe spend the time between this meet and states in December to getting my sumo up and work on this mental block that I have going. My first attempt was 302.5, my second was 324.5, and my third was 341#. Now, 341 was what I pulled in November at states and I thought for sure I was going to be able to get it. Yet again, though, something got into my head.
Below is a slideshow of moments from the day. Thank you to my amazing husband for capturing these! Head over to my youtube vlog here to see some footage.
I have to continue to remember that not every meet is going to be my best meet. I will learn through each and every one to establish what works and what doesn't. At the end of the day, I am strong and I am a good lifter. That isn't to sound conceited, but when I believe that is what is true, it will be. I have to continue to have faith that I can do all things with patience and time.
All in all, it was a great meet. After, we went and celebrated a plethora of individuals on my team that had recent life happenings accomplished. It was nice to relax and get to know everyone that came a little bit better. As you are reading this, I will be lifting in my next meet at the Unreal Barbellum in Grand Rapids, MI. I can’t wait to tell you all about this redemption meet!
Happy Saturday, Lovelies!