I haven’t done a monthly thoughts round up in quite some time. Thus, I feel like since June is kind of the halfway point to finally pull my crap together, here I am!
Sometimes taking a bit of time off of everything, makes you realize what you actually have time for and what you don’t.
I know this all too well this past month. You may (or may not) have noticed that I took a little bit of a break from my blog, most of social media, texting as much and doing things that really didn’t fill my soul. It was hard, and at times I wondered what the point of any or all of it was. I wanted to just keep saying “yes” to everything and being the shoulder for everyone. I wanted to be the person that everyone wanted me to be. Then I realized something. I realized that I was losing myself and sacrificing my needs for everyone else and their needs. I was continually going through the motions, numb to what I really needed. Going through the motions, I was pushing off the inevitable. Going through the motions, I was lying to myself, and others about where my heart was. Going through the motions, I was trying to solve and help everyone else before I helped myself. Then, when I start proclaiming and inserting the things I needed, often times they were overcast. Little did I know, would it come at the price of some things lost, but mostly good things gained.
Life is a funny thing. It can shadow the things you love dearly for those that it tricks you think will satisfy you now but in the end, I knew it was just me pushing myself away from the Lord and listening to him and my heart. I got tired. I got tired of being torn like the old t-shirt, now a shop rag. I got tired of being run into the ground mentally. I got tired of being overwhelmed.
So, here I am. Here is ME.
This blog is going to take yet another turn my friends. You will see changes and you will see me in my rawest form. Why, you ask? Because it is who I want to be. Without excuses. Without asking for permission. Without feeling the overwhelming sensation that I can’t have a voice.
In other words, I am here to kick ass and take names.
I am not promising a schedule, but rather the promise of getting the real me, in my most raw form, every time I sit down to write.
But, let’s be real. I need some type of structure. So, we will call it a Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday type of schedule. Maybe, Maybe not.
TIP OF THE DAY: Never apologize for wanting more from yourself.