So what do I mean with that? What I specifically mean is, when is the point reached that you finally decide that enough is enough and you are going to start making time for yourself and live YOUR life and rid of all the negative things, bit by bit in YOUR life.
Let’s talk more about that.
I have been called condescending, selfish, disrespectful, useless, worthless, and a slur of other defaming words that have been intentional to either express someone else’s jealousy, hate or trying to help me understand a situation. To be honest, I probably have been all of these at some point in my past. Let me just repeat the rest of that sentence. At some point in my past. Moving forward, I made huge changes to my life that have upset some people, including family and left them to wonder what the hell is going on with me. I have always heard “life is too short” and “this is your only life”.
At the ripe age of 30, I decided that I will do both of the quotes to the fullest. The problem with that is there have been relationships (friends and even with family) that have been lost. Is it sad? Sure. Will you be sad for a while and lonely, sure? But the beauty of that is when you discover YOUR purpose and YOUR life, those who don’t encourage you in a way that is truly encouraging, will not need to be in your life to try and make your credit, theirs.
What do I mean about this? Let me just recap some recent events that have occurred that encouraged me to “not have time” for negativity. Through an event, it was made known that there was money borrowed and instead of the integrity of the situation being upheld, it was relayed to others so that the person could spin it in their favor and made to look like they were superior in my situation. With that being said, a few weeks later, confrontation was taking place via text. While engaging, I finally had my ah-ha moment and disengaged the conversation. Meanwhile, continuously it was trying to be made known that this person “had done so much for me” and basically stated that my life would not be where it was if it weren’t for so much help. Let’s not discredit the truth in which I can say, sure, some situations would be different but with the current situation and it be presented as such, which actually was a total lie, meanwhile continuing to engage in such hateful words towards me, I finally decided to walk away.
The important lesson is this: do not engage. Do not engage in hateful words, losing the integrity of you and ultimately “giving the person what they want”. The reason for this is because when you start to lose you in conversation with such a toxic person, you have to work twice as hard reel yourself back in.
So really, that time was a really good time to not have time. I really don’t have time to wonder if I am doing, saying, of participating in ways that people want me to participate in their life. I don’t. I have my health, my child, and those in my family who will not try to overcast what I am doing to spend my time with. Do I wish this situation would have ended differently, sure. The fact is though, that there have been other situations that had the same outcome and because I was too busy trying to be a people pleaser, I took the abuse and never shared my thoughts and spoke like an adult. Sometimes when you fail to see anything wrong with yourself, you often times see how your actions affect others. That is what I don’t have time for.
Don’t settle and mettle in other people’s affairs. Don’t ever tell someone that the reason for their success is you. Also, don’t ever make people feel like they owe you something because you have done something nice for them. Finally, don’t ever expect anything in return for things that you choose to do for someone else. It doesn’t work that way.
****I will note that it took me a long time to finally sit down and express myself. This post is to not create drama but create awareness to look at your life and where you should be putting your energy.****
Love you all.