You can probably tell that I have taken some time. I had to..... and here's why:
The sick, twisted, reluctant, honest truth is that the seasonal depression hit me hard this year. I always prep for it. I know, KNOW it is coming and yet, I always think I can skirt right by and not believe that it is going to happen. Why?
That is a good question...why? Honestly, I'm not sure. And, I'm not even sure if I want to find out.
Usually, my seasonal depression wears off around mid-february when the sun is starting to peak back through. But, as many of you know, I live in Michigan. One of the most charismatic (this is the chosen word by yours truly) states when it comes to weather.
I had to find something, anything to make my soul happy and I just couldn't do it. Last summer, we started going to a different church, which helped. This winter, I really made a commitment to do a Sunday morning Bible study and dive deep into the word. The closer I grew to God, the better my mood became.
Then, this past Saturday, the urge hit me. The urge to deep clean every nook and cranny in my home. I had let the winter (ok, 2 years worth) pile in the basement and I just, felt, dirty, The good thing is that the church rummage sale is taking donations next week. Daniella and I spent 10 hours of Saturday cleaning and purging every drawer, every closet, and the basement. My body was so sore BUT my heart, my mind and my soul was happy. I had rid of things that were *literally* holding me down and allowing me to enjoy the few things I have around me. I couldn't sit down to blog. I couldn't sit down to read. I could do anything because I always felt like I had to clean something. I would start small and before you know it, I had given up and I was on the couch. It was a nasty spiral that surged my seasonal depression into over drive, pushed me away from the gym and it felt like overnight I gained the 25 pounds i had fought on a Whole30 round to lose.
Saturday felt good. So good.
Dear friends, I will be back. I promise. I'm not sure when or at what capacity because I am still trying to figure out my idea I had. Hugs and love.
For now, I leave with with this:
Do things that make your soul happy. Whatever that is.